I have a lot of trouble sleeping at night, it's been like this my entire life, but in the last 12 months it's been especially pronounced at times. In the last couple years I've really started trying to pintpoint at least partial solutions and I want to share what I've found helps me:

1. Determine your baseline

I need 6 hours of sleep minimum, a minute less than that and I'm completely off until I take a nap, more than that is nice, but I don't necessarily require it. 

I think establishing this baseline for what amount of sleep you need is important, because it helps you know when you're gonna be reaching your limit and when you have some leeway. Once I realized that I needed to get a minimum of 6 hours to be functional I stopped getting worried about getting less than 8 as much, and was able to relax a bit more and wait for myself to get tired. 

If you're trying to force yourself to go to sleep at 10:00 so you can get up at 6, but you can go to sleep at 11 and be just as functional on 7 hours try that and you might have an easier time falling asleep after giving yourself the extra hour to tire out.

2. Red lights

I use a color changing LED bulb in my bedroom and set it to red with a low brightness in the evenings. 

We're always told to turn on our phone's blue light filter in the evenings because blue light tells our brains it's day, but our light bulbs produce plenty of blue light too. I find that sitting in my bedroom for about 30 minutes with the lights all set to red, even if I'm on my phone for part of it, makes it a lot easier to fall asleep quickly at night.

3. No melatonin or benadryl

You don't need them and they're likely making it harder for you to sleep at night.

Benadryl puts you to sleep but does not make you feel well rested when you wake up, I used it for years when I was a teenager and that was some of the worst sleep I've gotten in my life. In addition, if you take benadryl and fail to fall asleep during the initial sedative state, it can keep you awake for hours longer than you mean to be, this is commonly documented by those taking benadryl for the deleriant effects. 

Melatonin makes you feel well rested, but I've always found it can make it extremely difficult to fall asleep if you take too much. If you feel you need melatonin to be better rested, I suggest at the very least you should take a much smaller dose than what is common in stores. I find that generally 0.5 mg is the maximum I need, but I'd suggest that if you're going to take it the average dose should be closer to 0.25 mg for optimal effects.

4. One pillow

Just use a single pillow to support your neck while you sleep, I find this helps me breathe at night better and I feel significantly better rested and have less neck pain in the mornings when I use a single pillow. My understanding for the reason this works is that when you use multiple pillows the bend created in your neck partially restricts airflow while you sleep. I've only been using a single pillow at night for a few months, but I've felt more well rested after starting and my neck hurts less in the morning.

5. Take naps when you can

I'm not shy to taking naps, I take one after work most days to help make up for the lack of sleep in the night. The option to take a nap makes it a lot less scary to be up late at night, and if your obligations will allow you to have that time back then it gives you an easy way out of a poor night's rest. I do sometimes get worried that taking a nap will interfere with my ability to do chores or get something done in the day, but often times you can mitigate that by getting it done while you're having trouble sleeping the night before.

6. Cold, but warm

It is my firm belief that humans are meant to be warmed from the cold when we go to sleep. When I try and sleep I want it to be cold enough that I'd be unable to sleep well without a blanket, so that the blanket keeps me warm. I think the increase in coziness from being warmed against the cold puts one at rest much easier than trying to sleep in an already warmer room with a thinner blanket.

7. Voices

I can't easily fall asleep at night without noise, I find that white noise helps, but what I prefer more is people talking quietly. I think that having a podcast or a show turned on to where you can't make out the words (so you don't follow along) but you can hear the talking is immensely helpful for falling asleep.

If you're having trouble sleeping too then I would also suggest you look at more conventional wisdom for your sleep aids. Things like avoiding caffeine, turning your phone off, and laying down with your eyes closed can be very helpful for helping you fall asleep, but I wanted to give you the things that personally have made a significant impact on me and I haven't seen repeated in a lot of places.

If you have any experience with trouble sleeping or any additional suggestions you'd like to share please leave them in the comments, I'd love to see them.

Thanks for reading!

- Dylan

I found a pretty big pinecone today while I was taking some server boxes to the dumpster, it's not huge, but I thought it was really cool looking. 

About 60 seconds before I saw it I smacked myself in the eye with a piece of cardboard comically hard as I picked it up, I want to believe the pinecone was my reward for the momentary pain I suffered. I think it's good to try and find little rewards in the world to help alleviate the pain that life can cause.

My friend was hard on himself at work today, I tried to help, but I didn't really know how and I think I ended up making it a little worse. When I see people I care about treat themselves like that it makes me reflect on my own behavior, I know I can be too hard on myself, but I don't know how to stop myself either. 

I wish it was easier to encourage people, to make them feel safe and whole and loved for who they are, and that improvements will come in time. I wish it was easier to talk people out of their negative self-image and show them the best parts of themself that others see them for and not the worst parts they see themselves for.

Is it even possible to show that to someone? Is it something they have to be looking for before it can be seen?

What does it mean to see the good in yourself? I think part is to let go of the mistakes and flaws in yourself that others don't perceive, but you do.

I've failed myself at a lot of important places in my life and now I have to deal with the consequences and it drives me to self-hatred, but that isn't right. It's easy to fall into the trap of hating yourself and believe you'll lose if you try, to use it as an excuse to not do anything or to hide from the world.

Lots of people don't seem to have this problem, they go out and do the thing like it's natural. I try to do the scary things, but I end up stuck where I am.

Am I just a coward? 

I hope one day you all can feel secure in yourselves and see the good that others see in you. I hope you find a pinecone as a reward for the pain and I hope it makes you smile even if your eye still stings. I hope if you hate yourself then you can love yourself and find the bravery to navigate life. 

I wish I had the words to express how my heart feels to you. 

You aren't alone.

Take care of yourself and those around you. Do your best.

I'm proud of you.

Hi Nuggy Bug,

The last couple nights you've gotten frightened on our evening walk and I wondered if your vision is getting worse,  it made me realize you're getting older. It's really scary cause you're only 4 and you still seem like a baby to me, the way you act like a little kid always melts my heart, and even when you're an old man I think I'll still see you as the little puppy the size of my shoe. I can't fathom what my life will be like when you're gone you've changed me so much, raising you and loving you has been the best gift I've received.

I remember the first time I saw you in Katie's arms I loved you so much right away, she left you with me while she went inside to get something and I held you and introduced myself as your new dad. Originally, I wanted your blonde sister, but I quickly didn't care after spending time with you. The instant I put you down you ran under a car to go explore and clomped around like a doofus and I saw you were the cutest ever. That was probably the worst point I've been at in my life, you came into the world when I was in the middle of my relationship falling apart, addicted to drugs, living with 5 people in a 1 bedroom apartment, and barely able to afford rent. Getting you was irresponsible, but I knew I needed you in my life from the moment they let you guys out of the crate, I felt so bad seeing you all crammed up in there and I knew I had to save one of you from that situation. It was irresponsible, but it was the right thing for me to do and I know that now - because of you I quit smoking cigarettes, quit coke, x and pills, learned to control my anger, and learned how to feel okay again. You're just a dog and you'll never know how much of an impact you made on me, but you've made me a better man in more ways than I can count, and you saved my life.

Thank you for tolerating my mistakes and always forgiving me, your love is everything to me. I wish you could read this buddy, I hope you know I love you and always will, thank you for everything you've done for me Chicken Nugget. 

I hope one day when we're both long gone someone finds this and knows there was a dog named Nuggy who loved the world, if that's you reading this then please remember him he's a good boy and he deserves it.